My First Kiss

You could say that I was a late bloomer, by most standards. I had my first boyfriend at the age of 14, and that relationship lasted about 4 months but it never turned into anything. Both of us were new to this and thus, we were both really shy. Sadly, he was not my first kiss.

When we broke up, my best friend was starting to get close to him. I could tell they both really liked each other and finally my best friend came to me for permission to date him. Let me be honest with you, he was the one who broke up with me and I actually still liked him and even at the time when my best friend asked me for permission, I still had feelings for him. After around 30 seconds of thinking about my answer, I finally told her she could date him. Some of you might be wondering why I said yes if I still liked him.

This was my reasoning: He broke up with me, thus, he doesn't want me anymore. He likes her. She likes him. If I don't say yes, I am hurting both of them. If it was me in her position, I would hope she would do the same for me.

Two weeks after we broke up, I was now 15, I found someone new named Jake. We went out on a first date and it was the nervous and slightly awkward date where you don't really relax. Then on our second date, we went to the cinema. It was beginning to look like a repeat of date number 1, so I sucked up the courage and slipped my hand into his. This 'date' wasn't just me and him though, a couple of my friends were there as well.

So the movie ended and as I waited for my mom, my two friends disappeared into the ice-cream shop. Jake then asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. ** Hint hint: I later learn that this is always code for more than a walk** I agreed and we walked slowly till we stopped right underneath a lap.

Then he kind of whispered, "I never got to kiss you," and by now my heart was fluttering like mad, and I murmured something like, "Uhuh". Then he asks me, "So can I kiss you?" **Another hint: Boys, never ask a girl to kiss you. Just do it in the moment, it pretty much kills the mood - unless you say it in a exotic language!**

I nodded and then we leaned in together and our lips met. It was definitely awkward, I'll admit. I had no idea what to do, how to do it, what to do with my hands etc. Our teeth did clash a couple of times and when I got more experienced, I realized how bad of a kisser he was and I was.

My relationship with Jake didn't last more than a couple of weeks but that was the beginning for me.

<3